CAST
STEVEN R. McQUEEN, ELISABETH SHUE, KELLY BROOK, CHRISTOPHER LLOYD, JERRY O’CONNELL, VING RHAMES, ADAM SCOTT

WRITTEN BY
PETE GOLDFINER, JOSH STOLBERG

PRODUCED BY
ALEXANDRE AJA, MARK CANTON, GREGORY LEVASSEUR, MARC TOBEROFF

DIRECTED BY
ALEXANDREA AJA

An example of fanboy philandering gone wrong, Piranha 3D is a disgustingly moronic movie which does not have enough wit to pull off an “it’s so bad it’s good” point of view, with poor performances, even worse script and a sadistic taste for blood letting making it a film made for, and by people of the lowest common denominator.

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CAST
TRACY MORGAN, BRUCE WILLIS, ADAM BRODY, GUILLERMO DIAZ, RASHIDA JONES, KEVIN POLLACK, SEAN WILLIAM SCOTT

WRITTEN BY
MARK CULLEN, ROBB CULLEN

PRODUCED BY
POLLY JOHNSON, MARC PLATT, MICHAEL TARDROSS

DIRECTED BY
KEVIN SMITH

Continuing with his recent spat of poor filmmaking, Kevin Smith goes the hired gun route and still came out with a stinker, with Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan unable to salvage what should have been an entertaining buddy cop spoof, but was rather a lazily paced and poorly constructed action comedy.    

CAST
STEVE CARELL, PAUD RUDD, JEMAINE CLEMENT, ZACK GALIFIANAKIS, BRUCE GREENWOOD, LUCY PUNCH, STEPHANIE SZOSTAK

WRITTEN BY
DAVID GUION, MICHAEL HANDELMAN (SCREENPLAY); FRANCES VERBER (FILM “THE DINNER GAME”)

PRODUCED BY
LAURIE MACDONALD, WALTER F. PARKES, JAY ROACH

DIRECTED BY
JAY ROACH

In every conceivable way, Dinner for Schmucks is the antithesis of the Frances Verber classic it remade: unfunny, annoying, over the top dross, which should have seen Anchorman alum Steve Carell and Paul Rudd tearing it up (especially with Carell in “Brick” mode), but instead features career lows for all involved.    

CAST
PAUL RUDD, OWEN WILSON, REESE WITHERSPOON, KATHRYN HAHN, JACK NICHOLSON

WRITTEN BY
JAMES L. BROOKS

PRODUCED BY
JULIE ANSELL, JAMES L. BROOKS, LAURENCE MARK, PAULA WEINSTEIN

DIRECTED BY
JAMES L. BROOKS

Once upon a time, James L. Brooks wrote and directed critically acclaimed, award winning movies. The years, it seems, have not been kind, with How Do You Know a waffling, repetitive romantic comedy filled with unlikeable characters uttering rambling dialogue, and great actors delivering career worst turns. Six years had passed since Brooks’ last release. Let’s hope his next film takes longer.  

CAST
ROBERT DE NIRO, BEN STILLER, JESSICA ALBA, DUSTIN HOFFMAN, TERI POLO

WRITTEN BY
JOHN HAMBURG, LARY STUCKEY (SCREENPLAY); GREG GLIENNA, MARY RUTH CLARKE (CHARACTERS)

PRODUCED BY
ROBERT DE NIRO, JOHN HAMBURG, JAY ROACH, JANE ROSENTHAL

DIRECTED BY
PAUL WEITZ

For a man who once lived by the creed that “the talent is in the choices”, Robert De Niro seems to have made it his mission to mar his legacy by appearing in drivel such as Little Fockers. At least he is not alone, with buddies Dustin Hoffman and Harvey Keitel also joining on the misfortune, as eternally picked on son in law Gaylord Focker (a typical turn from Ben Stiller) once again finds himself in a tough spot. Joy.  

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CAST
ERIC BALFOUR, SCOTTIE THOMPSON, BRITTANY DANIEL, DONALD FAISON, CRYSTAL REED, DAVID ZAYAS

WRITTEN BY
JOSHUA CORDES, LIAM O’DONNELL

PRODUCED BY
KRISTIAN JAMES ANDRESEN, LIAM O’DONNELL, COLIN STRAUSE, GREG STRAUSE

DIRECTED BY
COLIN STRAUSE, GREG STRAUSE

The alien invasion sub-genre took a blow with the release of Skyline, a cliché and immensely boring VFX spectacle with plenty of sheen yet no soul, directors Colin and Greg Strause creating a flavourless sci-fi thriller. An open ended conclusion screams “sequel”. Let us pray it does not happen.

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CAST
JONATAH RHYS-MEYERS, JOHN TRAVOLTA, RICHARD DURDEN, AMBER ROSE REVAH, KASIA SMUTNIAK

WRITTEN BY
ADI HASAK (SCREENPLAY); LUC BEESON (STORY)

PRODUCED BY
LUC BESSON, INDIA OSBORNE, VIRGINIE SILLA

DIRECTED BY
PIERRE MOREL

Putting aside the over the top yet hardly exhilarating action scenes and John Travolta’s continuous destruction of his post Pulp Fiction career, what makes From Paris With Love such a moronically offensive movie is its obvious contempt for Muslims in their depiction that every follower of the Islamic faith is a terrorist waiting to happen, with the hijab an ultimate cover for suicide bombers everywhere. Considering the last Luc Besson / Pierre Morel film Taken has similar undertones, perhaps a pattern is emerging....

CAST
NOAH RINGER, CLIFF CURTIS, AASIF MANDVI, DEV PATEL, NICOLAS PELTZ, JOSHUA RATHBONE

WRITTEN BY
M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN (SCREENPLAY); MICHAEL DANTE DI MARTINO, BRYAN KONIETZKO

PRODUCED BY
SCOTT AVERSANO, FRANK MARSHALL, SAM MERCER, M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN

DIRECTED BY
M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN

The career spiral of M. Night Shyamalan continues with The Last Airbender, which above many things will be remembered for Shymalan’s inability to take a popular and thought out animated series and turn it into an equally engrossing feature movie, inspiring snores rather than excitement from audiences worldwide.  

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CAST
KATHERINE HEIGL, ASHTON KUTCHER, CATHERINE O’HARA, ROB RIGGLE, TOM SELLECK, KATHERYN WINNICK

WRITTEN BY
BOB DE ROSE (STORY); BOB DE ROSE, TED GRIFFIN (SCREENPLAY)

PRODUCED BY
SCOTT AVERSANO, JASON GOLDBERG, MIKE KARZ, ASHTON KUTCHER

DIRECTED BY
ROBERT LUKETIC

Call it karma, but Katherine Heigl has officially become the queen of bad rom-coms, with Killers following on from the atrocious The Ugly Truth. That both films were directed by Robert Luketic might have something to do with their quality. That Ashton Kutcher stars as an assassin definitely says something about the quality of this film.  

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CAST
JENNIFER ANISTON, GERARD BUTLER, CHRISTINE BARANSKI, GEFF GARLIN, CATHY MORIARTY, JASON SUDEIKIS

WRITTEN BY
SARAH THORP

PRODUCED BY
NEAL H. MORITZ

DIRECTED BY
ANDY TENNANT

Running 111 min too long (yet, that is its official run time), The Bounty Hunter gave viewers the misfortune of watching Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler in a Z grade Midnight Run, the pair failing to strike up anything remotely resembling chemistry, nor deliver anything close to comedy. Directed by Andy Tennant (he was also responsible for the equally painful Fool’s Gold), this was a pitiful excuse of a movie and another nail in the coffin of the American comedy.  

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