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Baywatch poster

CAST
ZAC EFRON
DWAYNE JOHNSON
YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II
JON BASS
HANNIBAL BURESS
CLEM CHEUNG
PRIYANKA CHOPRA
ALEXANDRA DADDARIO
ILFENESH HADERA
ROB HUEBEL
AMIN JOSEPH
JACK KESY
OSCAR NUNEZ
KELLY ROHRBACH

BASED ON THE TV SERIES CREATED BY
MICHAEL BERK
GREGORY J. BONANN
DOUGLAS SCHWARTZ

STORY BY
ROBERT BEN GARANT
THOMAS LENNON
DAVID ROHN
JAY SCHERICK

SCREENPLAY BY
DAMIAN SHANNON
MARK SWIFT

PRODUCED BY
MICHAEL BERK
GREOGRY J. BONNAN
BEAU FLYNN
IVAN REITMAN
DOUGLAS SCHWARTZ

DIRECTED BY
SETH GORDON

GENRE
ACTION
COMEDY
CRIME

RATED
AUS:MA
UK: 15
USA:R

RUNNING TIME
116 MIN

BAYWATCH (2017)

The equivalent of diving into polluted waters, Baywatch takes a promising concept and a talented cast for a deep dive into career worst territory from which there is no resuscitation.

21 Jump Street has a lot to answer for. Since its lauded release some 5 years ago, studios have tapped into their own TV adaptation properties in hopes to cash in on the success of the Jonah Hill/Channing Tatum buddy comedy. Man from UNCLE was good. CHIPS a disaster. Baywatch? Well, Baywatch makes CHIPS look like Citizen Kane.

MMR Top 150 banner

Based upon the highly successful 90s TV show that starred David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson, Baywatch succeeds in deflating the superstar charisma of Dwayne Johnson while also managing to take Zac Efron into more putrefied territory than Dirty Grandpa, which in itself is a miracle. It also adds another dud in the feature film career of director Seth Gordon (Identity Thief), who try as he might, simply cannot match the blend of R-rated comedy and violent action that the likes of Phil Lord and Chris Miller perfected with their two Jump Street movies.

Set in the fictitious beach community of Emerald Bay, Baywatch stars Johnson as lifeguard supreme Mitch Buchanan, who leads an elite life guard team featuring second in command Stephanie (Ilfanesh Hadera) and veteran CJ (Kelly Rohrbach). While breaking in new recruits Summer (Alexandra Daddario), Ronnie (Jon Bass), and troubled double Olympic gold medallist Matt Brody (Zac Efron), the Baywatch team must also contend with the arrival of mysterious businesswoman and drug baron Victoria Leeds (Priyanka Chopra.)

From the opening scene of a hulking Johnson (pun not intended) saving a concussed wind surfer from certain death in glorious OTT fashion, it is clear that subtlety will not be part of the Baywatch game plan. What wasn’t expected was the moronic approach to its comedy that Gordon and screenwriters Damian Shannon and Mark Swift believed would see them through. Instead it crumbles to pieces at the introduction of its first dick joke that could only appease to the lowest common denominator. That Shannon and Swift previously worked on Friday the 13th and Freddy vs Jason explains the horror that is Baywatch.

The hope was always that the charismatic star power of Johnson could elevate any dodgy material to a digestible standard. But alas, the mighty Rock has been crushed by the weight of a tonne of crappy jokes and uninspired action scenes. The smile is flashy, the muscles are pumping, and the curse words are plentiful, yet for the first time in a long time Johnson cannot save a film from its own awfulness.

Perhaps even more depressing is the descent of Zac Efron. Post his High School Musical phase, Efron worked on fine films with interesting directors. There was Me & Orson Welles with Richard Linklater, The Paperboy with Lee Daniels, and At Any Price with Rami Bahrani. Yet one lauded turn in an R-rated comedy with Bad Neighbours, and Efron has continued to play immature beefcakes to his detriment. Baywatch is not only a career worst move, but it also features the second time Efron was outshone in a scene by a shrivelled-up penis. Such is the nature of today's comedy's. . .

The rest of the cast don’t fare any better. Alexandra Daddario and Kelly Rohrbach dutifully play the role of eye candy, Priyanka Chopra is given too little to make her villain interesting in the slightest, and then there is Jon Bass as Ronnie, perhaps the worst example of the “overweight nerd comedy relief” stereotype to disgrace the screen in some time.

Lazy, uninspired and just plain nasty, Baywatch takes the already gutter level disgrace of the modern American comedy to new lows.

*

 

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