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Written by Matthew Pejkovic

Hugh Hefner

In response to the Myley Cyrus / Vanity Fair brouhaha from a week ago, Playboy founder Hugh Hefner has offered the 15 year old Cyrus the chance to pose for Playboy as soon as she turns 18.

Hefner added, "To make such a big to-do over something as innocent as those photos, I think is a reflection on how schizophrenic America is about sexuality." Gee, I wonder why Americans have that attitude when a 82 year old perv who walks around in a dressing gown has begun recruiting young girls as future centrefolds in his porno mag.

Perhaps after the centrefold, Hef might like to offer Cyrus a chance to star in her own video: Playboy Presents Myley Cyrus / Hannah Montana in the Flesh 3-D.

Then after that, she can have the honour of becoming one of his sex slaves, oops, I mean girlfriends in the Playboy Mansion, perhaps date Bill Maher, marry Tommy Lee, and then add Hepatitis B to her list of accolades.

Maybe Hef can set up recruiting booths outside of grade school’s so he can catch them while their young. That we he can groom them into his ideal woman; big tits, tight ass, shaved bush, no class.

Pretty soon Penthouse and Hustler will follow suit, offering deals to every other up and coming child star and then every other child to go with that. You never know, it might just be the next best thing, like child beauty pageants, or maybe Nickleodean can host its own reality TV program “America’s Next Porno Star”.

One has to wonder, just where is Myley’s father, Billy Ray Cyrus, in all of this? Perhaps it is time he brought back the mullet, brought out the shotgun, and began protecting his daughter from entering another scandal which could hold disastrous consequences for her career.

No parent would want their daughter to become another Paris Hilton, Pamela Anderson, or worse an Anna Nicole Smith.

Bill Maher was right: there is a creepy old man out there who wears funny clothes and preys on children. But it is not the Pope, it is Hugh Hefner.


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